A Mother's Job: Finding Renz's Passion

        Everyone is good at something.  All people have a knack for something. Chances are someone has told you that if your child is interested, whether in sports, music or the arts, grab the opportunity and let your child explore a variety of options. And finding your kid’s passion at a young age will help him in school and life.  It would help your son to become a well-rounded person if you introduce him to numerous activities. 

                     

      Alright, it seems my son Renz is interested in activities but that which happen to be popular among friends in school or neighbourhood.  I know these activities aren’t necessarily will win my son scholarships or public recognition.  What is much important is that he shows a knack for it and he thoroughly enjoys it more than just a majestic view of watching him play, play an instrument, or smash a shuttle with his entire core.

       I’m not forcing him to excel nor imposing my dreams on him, but letting him learn and enjoy many new experiences.  I’m just here to help him set realistic goals and celebrate small achievements.   Hoping, I’m opening a channel for him to express himself in a positive way by exposing him to different activities. I pray I could be of help in finding his true calling because if he has direction in life also he has less chance of getting involved in drugs or alcohol or hanging out with the wrong crowd.  Hopefully, he will gain confidence that will spill over into other areasof his life. 

        Like every summer I enrol him and his younger brother in lessons of any kind I can afford and/that they want to be in.  At age 7, he took up swimming lessons and loves the water ever since.  At 8 and 9, they have attended 2 summers of McDonald’s Kiddie Crew Workshop.  Before we came to badminton, though, my son tried numerous activities like taekwondo, ice skating, and volleyball, that didn’t work out at all.  There are times he engages in air soft, paintball, billiards, tennis and basketball.  This summer he had guitar lessons and learned just 4 songs.  Now he wants to play drums.  

    Sometimes I ask myself what I can do to keep that passion burning in my kid’s heart and mind.  It is my job as his parent to help him realize it and bring it to its full potential.  So I’m watching him practice, giving him time alone, with a watchful eye, of course. I let him try and fail.  And I try hard not to be critical or demanding.

     I think one of the most important jobs of a parent is to inspire and encourage those things the child seems to be naturally attracted to in order to help discover his passion.  It is the uncovering, pursuing, and being able to live his passion is the best help you can give your child.  More than a mother’s aspiration or a mother’s prayer but most of all, it’s a mother’s job.  Praises and encouragement are welcomed whether your son is 4 or 40.  One will never outgrow affirmation or validation.

               As for Renz’s badminton coaches,Jayson, Prince and Alex, these things they have to say: Renz learning new skills will stimulate his mind, his training will promote physical fitness, it will enhance his social skills, and it will help him develop confidence and self esteem.

     Now, Renz is a badminton varsity player at his school. He started playing and competing at age 10.  So far so good playing singles at the CAPRISA (Cainta Private School Associations) and RIPRIZA (Rizal Private School Associations).  He’s eyeing to play at the provincial meet.

     I’m looking forward to that day Renz will develop a talent that can lead to great successes in his life:emotional happiness, increased self-esteem, as well as, possibly financial benefits.

P.S.  I’m having problem with Ren’z self-control... the self-control by athletes who train to win the prize.  I always tell him that he needs to remember that as a consistent habit of life, regular discipline is of far greater value to him than his “ last minute preparation”.

A Mother’s Headache: Tutoring Kiddos

Six years ago, I remember my kids coming from school used to talk excitedly about new facts in Science or Makabayan. Ask them now how their day is in school and you get an “uhmm...ok lang”.

It seems that school for them is a tough place to be nowadays. It’s a big headache to tutor them these days. Distractions and stubbornness are two of the things to battle with when tutoring them. No matter how many times I explain things to them, my kids won’t listen and would insist on doing their things their way.

I believe most parents like me know this situation all too well. Parent-children tandem work hard to complete homework assignments. Sometimes we end up nagging or in frustration.

As an adult, I know there’s much more to life than school. I know that success and self-esteem have little to do with grade-point averages. But school is school. This is where our children get most of the information and knowledge that will shape their thinking, hopefully good character, too. Our kids are equipped with the essential skills they will need to move on to the next stage of their lives, whatever that stage may be.

I have to reevaluate. My kids do not clearly excel at school as they used to in the preschool and primary level. Is it the academic demands? Is learning stressful and competitive now? Or is it the new trend and high-tech world? Maybe there are things I have neglected to reinforce early on. Or maybe I am looking at what everyone else’s kids is achieving, rather than focusing on my own kids.

Whatever the reasons maybe, a mother needs to understand her kids’ strengths, weaknesses, and interests better than anyone. I will continue to guide them and encourage them not to excel but to be at their best. I will help them to gain some perspective, and a self-esteem boost...even beyond the school walls.

It is a challenge and a struggle both for me and my kids. Never give up. Always pray.Better have a headache than heartache.

by Nini SanAndres
June 26, 2010

A Mother in Distress: Ear Piercing

"Mommy, can I get my ears pierced?"

"No Harvey!", I objected.

"Why not?"

"Because boys don't get their ears pierced, only girls do!"

"When can I get it?.. when I'm in high school...or in college? ..how old am i then?..how many years from now on?", Harvey reiterated.

I'm a little annoyed and groaned. "Are you listening Harvey?..it's not okay for boys to get their ears pierced...it's not acceptable...people will judge you.Besides your school would suspend you or worse kick you out of the school...that's it Harvey...no more talking..."

One month passed. But Harvey didn't give up. He would ask me about it again. He would reason out that a classmate had done it. Likewise sport celebrities and dancers flaunt it. I cannot imagine a 5th grader boy in a private school with his ears pierced.

His need was something I could not understand. Maybe he wants to make a fashion statement about himself. I could see the point. But he's too young...and what's next???...body piercing, tattoo...i could have endless thoughts...but please spare my boy.

It's not that having his ears pierce will make him headed for a life of trouble. I know he is a good kid. But I could not allow this small gift of free expression. Not now...maybe when he can stand up and he can live with it...a hole in the ear.